Ten seconds. According to NPC rules, ten seconds is all a competitor is allowed to hit their poses and perform their routine while they are being judged. Months of hard work comes down to ten seconds which really feels like five seconds.

I stood on the platform waiting for the first class I was competing in to go out – and, as my luck would have it, I was the first competitor to step foot on stage. As I stood watching the girls before me leave the stage all the nerves I hadn’t felt until that point hit me. It was that good ol’ fight or flight response and every fiber of my body was saying, “Flight! Abort! Abort!” But, it was my turn – I took a big breath, slapped the biggest smile on my face I could muster, and stepped out into the bright lights.

I don’t know if I’ve ever shook so hard in my life. My lips were trembling so badly I was sure my smile had melted into something that looked like I was talking to myself. I hit my poses and just like that – my ten seconds was over. Ten seconds to make an impression, ten seconds to showcase the months of blood, sweat, and tears, ten seconds to justify eating tilapia and asparagus and being dehydrated…

Friday Morning

However, the weekend started long before Saturday morning. Friday morning my “posse” and I headed to Memphis after grabbing coffee with my Dad. My cousin, K, was sweet enough to drive us so I could prop up my legs and rest them.

We stopped about five hundred times to take potty breaks and hunt for unsalted rice cakes. Being carb hungry and pretty much completely dehydrated I may have had a moment or two I got a little snappy. K was trying to find a place for us to go to the bathroom and she pulled into a Wendy’s – I’m pretty sure this is when I complained about the choice and she muttered under her breath, “Well, if you’ve gotta go so bad you shouldn’t be so picky about where we stop.” And, the other time she almost gave me a heart attack going through three lanes of traffic and I told her to stop and she half-screams, “I know how to drive!!” Lord help. Thankfully we had my friend, L, with us who was a mediator long enough for us to laugh about everything and get on with the day.

We arrived at the hotel long enough to drop our stuff off and get over to the convention center for me to check in and get my number. I had a couple of hours to kill before my tanning appointment so I took my last shower for the next day and a half before heading to get sprayed. I also enjoyed smelling my Reeses brownies…

Most Awkward Experience Goes To…

I’ve gotten maybe one spray tan in my whole life and I’m pretty sure nothing will hold a candle to what happened on Friday night. I purposefully made my appointment the last one of the day and thankfully there were only a couple of other girls in the room when it was my turn. The room we were getting sprayed in was full of black, pop-up tents. I stepped in one and was instructed to take my clothes off and put on a hair net. Cool. So, here I am getting buck naked facing tents full of other girls just as naked.

“Try not to make eye contact, try not to make eye contact.”

Once I was “ready” I went into another tent complete with a spotlight shining on me. The lady introduced herself and got started. Let’s just say you have to get into some preeeetty tricky positions to get all of your, um, areas tanned. One coat isn’t enough though – I went into my little black tent to dry before getting another round of awesome smelling liquid black grease sprayed on my body.

After I was dry, L and K and I headed to the most ghetto Walmart to get some necessities (aka: makeup that would match my new ethnicity) before calling it a night.

Of course I couldn’t go to sleep without marveling at my color in the bathroom mirror for about twenty minutes. It was becoming all too real at this point.

Athlete Status

Saturday morning came quickly and I was up at six AM to do my hair and makeup before heading over to the convention center for our athlete meeting. I understand a lot of people didn’t or haven’t seen my competition as serious but there is no doubt that bodybuilding is a sport. I just happened to pick a sport I get to wear a fun uniform and jewelry and shoes for. There is nothing glamorous or sexy about competing, I assure you.

When you’re standing in a line of girls getting your backside rolled with a mini foam roller to fix any marks that occurred while you were trying to use the restroom is not glamorous. Or, getting your bikini bottom glued to your glutes. Or, getting “glazed” – aka: having oil rubbed all over your body. Or, lying in the floor with your feet propped up against whatever you can find so your legs don’t swell. Or, eating ten thousand rice cakes. Or, being dehydrated.

Show Time… Almost. Not Yet. Okay… Now!

I had “met” a fellow competitor through Instagram several weeks before the competition. E was a competitor from Memphis and we had exchanged messages several times leading up to show day. I was so excited to finally meet her in person! We had the best time wandering around the convention center together practicing our posing, we helped each other get ready, and it was really awesome to have someone else there with me who was going through the exact same thing. We became instant friends and I have no doubt we will continue to be friends and hopefully compete together in the near future!

Competing is a lot of “hurry up and wait” – I knew this before but it is so true. Bikini is usually the last division to go on at a competition so while prejudging started at 9am, we didn’t go on until 11:30am.

This gives plenty of time to meet the other girls which was one of my favorite parts of the experience. I met so many amazing girls. Women are almost groomed to be catty to each other, but I have never met more helpful and supportive girls who are, in essence, competing against each other. It’s like everyone realizes we are in this crazy world together and we are supportive and happy for each other, genuinely, at what each accomplishes and achieves.

10 Seconds

After getting my ten seconds in the spotlight, literally, prejudging was over and it was time to head back to the hotel for a nap. I already knew that morning how I had placed, but nothing is “official” until the evening show. Was I disappointed I didn’t do better? Of course. Was I sad about it? No. I knew going into the day what were my weak points and I had the opportunity to talk with the judges at the end of the night and get notes and they reaffirmed what I already knew. I was thankful for the feedback because I know exactly what I need to work on, build, and improve before competing in my next show.

We came back to the convention center later that evening and had another athlete meeting. It was really cool to hear the head judge talk about us being there to compete against ourselves. We were there to be better, to beat our former selves, to improve ourselves, and to possess good sportsmanship no matter what the outcome. That pep talk just reaffirmed what I love about this new found lifestyle – that I am only competing against myself and to be better than I was yesterday.

Warning: Trophies are Heavier Than They Look

At the evening show, the rest of my cheering squad arrived. The night show was a little different in that we got to do our routine again – not for judging purposes but just to have fun.

I walked out and immediately spotted my friends complete with signs that said, “GO PLT” and “After this, we eat all the food!!!!” Although, I admit when I looked at the last sign I thought it said “donuts” not “food.” Ha!

The music was pumping and the auditorium was full. We also went out onto the stage alone. In prejudging, your whole class is out on the stage with you. At the evening show, you go out alone and do your routine. This time, I wasn’t nervous at all. I was excited and proud and elated I had committed to this enormous goal for myself and I had completed it.

When I received my trophy, I bent down to pick it up and honestly thought it was going to be a lot lighter than it actually was. I’m pretty sure I took a little step backwards when my finger missed picking it up from the floor. Whew. A hundred pictures later with my fellow competitors and friends and family, we headed to the most important event of the night… EATING!

And, now… We Feast

My friend L had made me the most amazing, mouth water Reeses brownies to eat after the show so I enjoyed chowing down on those before running (literally) the streets of downtown Memphis trying to find Rendezvous before they closed at 11pm. The first thing I wanted was WATER. I hadn’t had water since Friday afternoon and to say I was thirsty would be an understatement. I’m pretty sure I drank six glasses before the appetizer came. Water and rolls were my first priority. I hadn’t had bread in months and nothing ever tasted so good. Well, besides those brownies.

After dinner we took a little stroll dance down Beale Street for a cultural experience. I really didn’t want the weekend to end. This had been one of the biggest accomplishments of my life and I was riding a high unlike any other. It was hard to go to sleep that night but sleep came because I knew the sooner I went to sleep the sooner I would be able to get up in the morning and eat PANCAKES.

After I took off my jewelry and peeled off the fake eyelashes and washed the sixteen layers of tan off my body, Laurel gave me a package. I opened it up and inside she had had made a trophy just for me. The engraved plate read: “Congratulations. First Bikini Competition. October 24, 2015.” She didn’t want me to go home empty handed in case I didn’t place and she wanted me to remember this special day. I could not have asked for a better friend. That trophy will mean more to me than the heavy gold cup that reads “4th Place”. That trophy is the one that encompasses all of the feelings that led up to October 24th – seven months after I started a new life.

Waking Up A Competitor

Before Saturday, I could only say I was going to be a competitor… but, when I woke up Sunday morning I could say I was a competitor. I had competed. I was an NPC athlete. The girls and I got ready early and K and I had an impromptu dance party in the room… my favorite kind of party.

I had been grateful to have my people with me the whole weekend but it was in that moment of carefree abandon and fun that I was especially thankful. That even if I had left without anything in my hands, my heart and life were full because I had people in it that loved me for me and that were some of the most wonderful people on this earth. That nothing was the end but a new beginning. You can put a placing on love or your friendships.

We made one final stop to eat at this gourmet pancake house called “Staks” – ya’ll. I had Oreo Praline pancakes and a Toasted S’more latte. The pancakes had cream cheese filling. Ya’ll. I can’t. They were the best things I had ever tasted. Unfortunately, I could only eat half of them before I had to tap out. I tried though.

We jammed all the way back home and I arrived back home a new woman. I feel like I can do anything. I know I can do anything. I completely changed my life – not without the help and support of all of my friends and my family and my fitness inspirations, but I chose to change. I chose to get up every day and grind 100% and never, ever give up.

It’s only gets better from here.

Until next time… xoxo, patty lauren