Moonshine & Wanderlust

... a cosmopolitan view from a southern perspective

Welcome to Moonshine & Wanderlust!

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Started in November of 2013, my blog has finally found its permanent home… I am so excited to share it with you! I have worked on getting everything just right for the site’s launch in hopes of making this blog the most user friendly and inviting place to read!

A lifestyle blog, Moonshine & Wanderlust will be a place to read about travel, local reviews, home life, and style   – all with a touch of southern charm. For a more in depth read, check about the About Me page!

Without further ado… enjoy!

love,

patty lauren

17 miles

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If you’ve read my blog before you may remember my short and sweet post about my vacation to St. Simons Island. Oh yes, the place where Grace Kelly almost hung herself off a banister in town or the most perfect sandwich I ever ate literally flew away. And, yes, I mean LITERALLY – not in the white girl “I literally almost died” way, but the appropriate way. But, there was so much I didn’t get to share – because suicidal puppies and flying sandwiches make for more interesting stories while you’re on vacation – until now!

I’m convinced St. Simons is one of America’s best kept secrets. Or, it seems that way. St. Simons is one of those unpretentious, tranquil vacation spots you only see in movies. I had a childhood friend who used to go to St. Simons for vacation with her family every year – they were “rich” by my family’s standards and the thought of a place called St. Simons seemed very posh in my ten year old mind.

I never have gone into the reason why I took the beach trip… it’s a long story, but I touched on some of it in my earlier blog days. Sometimes things happen to you and you realize you have to stop waiting for life to happen. You start making your own history, your own memories, your own adventures… and you stop waiting on other people to make those things happen for you.

So, I packed up the girl and we hit the road… of course, after a stop for some Starbucks. Sorry – you can’t suck all my typical white girl behavior out of me, society!

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The drive was about seven hours – which to go to the beach is not bad in my book. I packed up the pooch and left the day after Christmas. The drive was routine… Atlanta, pretty scenery, crazy drivers, but as soon as you drive through New Brunswick you become transported to what seems like a step back in time to a simpler life. Spanish moss drips from seemingly everything, sweeping you further into the island’s welcoming embrace. Palm trees stand at attention as you drive towards the warmer destinations. The air is different. You suddenly become different.

For my accommodations, I chose The King and Price Golf Resort.

kingandprinceI chose King and Prince for a few reasons – first of all – location, location, location! King and Prince is located right on the beach with amazing views of the ocean coupled with an array of amenities that make it the hottest spot to stay on the island. Also, during the time I booked my trip the resort was undergoing major reconstruction in some parts and they were offering some amazing deals! The resort has multiple pools, tennis courts and is, of course, pet friendly!

During the morning and afternoons, I would take Grace Kelly for a walk on the beach. One of my favorite things about the trip was our daily beach walks… not only because there was such a relaxation and ease with the comfort of the ocean, but because of all the puppies!! I think the phrase: “I saw more dogs than children!!” was enthusiastically used.

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Some people have a part of them that dreads beach vacations – no matter how excited you are, you know you do not look forward to screaming children, inconsiderate tourists, and not being able to find your way around. St. Simons has some of the friendliest tourists and locals alike I’ve ever found. What is so great about where we stayed was the short walk to Main Street. It’s about a one mile walk from King and Prince to downtown which you can easily amble along on foot or by bike.

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Grace Kelly and I walked down the strip of beach one afternoon (after the flying sandwich incident) and visited the lighthouse next to Neptune Park.  There is a small fee to go inside, but we enjoyed the beauty of the historic landmark from the park.

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Neptune Park

The Pier Village and main Street is a perfect package and I touched on some of its great assets in my original St. Simons post – it’s the right amount of places to shop, eat, and browse without being overwhelmed by touristy extravagance. I started a tradition in St. Simons – visiting a local book shop and buying a book. Old, new, doesn’t matter. Some people collect shells or pieces of jewelry – I think making traditions during travel makes the memory a little more tangible.

Another wonderful landmark and place to visit in St. Simons is Christ Church and the surrounding grounds. I drove there (although biking everywhere on St. Simons is perfectly acceptable and highly encouraged!) on a drizzly late afternoon. Christ Church is one of the most beautiful and historic churches I’ve seen – it reminded me very much of some of the small churches I visited in Ireland.

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St. Simons is a treasure packed into just 17 sq.  miles. Whether you are looking to plan an exciting trip full of fun, golfing, and surf or a relaxing trip coupled with scattered adventures, St. Simons is truly one of the most enchanting spots in the South.

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the need for speed

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It’s a trend always on the rise – the need to be the best, the smartest, the fastest, the wealthiest, the most popular… The need for speed will never stop. But, that doesn’t mean all of us are jumping on the first flight out to a land of discontentment and many times unachievable desires. Maybe you’ve been a passenger of the speed train for a long time and are ready to disembark – do we even remember how to not be bombarded by feelings of “not being good enough” in a world that tells us we aren’t good until we’re great?

I spent many years trying to prove myself to other people. I touched on this in my last post The Importance of Being Independent but I was always the “I can do it and I don’t need your help” person. And, a lot of that is still in me and probably always will be. A lot of that links back to things I cannot control, but have impacted my person and my outlook. The idea of being dependent on anyone is crippling at times. I’ve consistently carried at least three jobs but at times up to six. The need to be productive, to be busy, to be helpful, to be independent, to give back, to not be a burden, to make my own way… these things will never going away because they are inherently ingrained into my DNA. But, the need to “outdo” everyone else I know… to have the most fantastic job, to have the best car, to one up them… that is where somehow our world has gone from the morals of making your own way and having an honest day’s work to one of entitlement and expectation and the constant drive to be better than everyone else.

Instead of encouraging people to be content with having a job they enjoy or finding joy in living day to day, society and those around us feed us toxic thoughts that if we don’t “have it all together” or have our “dream job” or aren’t banking six figures by the time we’re 25 then we are never going to amount to anything. We’re worthless, we’re the duds, we’re the ugly duckling in a group of swans. It seems extreme, but it’s reality and I see it all around me. We live to work not work to live. We expect to be given everything instead of working towards a goal. My goals are not your goals. Your goals are your own and no one, ever, should make you feel that they are less than what they are. Maybe you are content doing what you are doing and being where you are for now but those around you infiltrate your happiness with questions and cause you to be uncertain. Let me tell you this – you cannot put a price on contentment. Period.

The world and people around you who do not hold your best interest at heart should never be the barometer for your life. You will never be good enough for them because as soon as you get that high paying job, they are going to start asking you when you will fulfill the next expected step on the ladder of success. The people around us who belong in our lives will push us forward in our goals, in our dreams, and help stretch us when it is time to be pulled in a new direction. But, the pushing and shoving that comes with climbing over each other to reach the top is a one way ticket to self destruction and self hate.

If you wanna be fast, enjoy the ride and soak up every opportunity. But, also find contentment in being a well rounded, complete human being who finds beauty and worth in the smallest details of where your life is existing at this moment.

The Importance of Being Independent

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Earlier this week, I stopped downtown to check my PO Box. Nothing out of the ordinary there – I slid my car into the parallel parking spot, got out, and started to make my way inside the building when an older gentleman stopped me.

“Now that is a real nice parking job, girl!” he smiled, getting into his slick, black Mercedes.

The part of me that tends to have a snappy comeback for everything rose up in defense of the seemingly sexist and/or stereotypical comment, but instead I smiled and said, “Thank you!” Because, after all, I am the best parallel parker and I make no qualms about tooting that horn.

For most of my teenage and young adult life, I have had an automatic defense mechanism snap in me when I thought someone was questioning my ability to do something well. I guess you could say I had a chip on my shoulder. I proudly wore shirts that had phrases like, “Be Independent. Don’t depend on him!” emblazoned across the front. In college, I wrote a paper about third wave feminism and was sure this was where my viewpoint would stay for the next thirty years. I refused to acknowledge the bag boys at grocery stores, no matter how many bags I had to carry, I lifted/carried/pulled things too heavy for me because I was a woman and I could do it. If anyone made a comment about me being a girl or saying I couldn’t do something, you better believe I was going to do the task or die trying. Worst attitude ever. That person was awful.

Real independence doesn’t scream, “I’m a women, hear me roar!” Yes, I can do a lot of things with no help and usually still in my 4″ heels, but that’s not a reason for me to become hostile and defensive when I’m underestimated. Real independence comes with a sense of peace and that’s something I am constantly reminding myself of on the anxiety filled days. Real independence is knowing you are free from depending on another person but gracious when help is offered. Real independence is learning the art of accepting help or saying “Thank you” – and really meaning it. Real independence is not arguing with someone over how independent you are or trying to prove your one-woman-can-do-it-all abilities. Real independence is accepting that there are two genders in this world and that’s a pretty awesome thing. Real independence is knowing your value and capabilities and never having to feel like you have to defend yourself.

It’s taken me a long time and some failures along the way to simply be grateful for help and to enjoy being appreciated for being a woman. I find the men who disrespect and bully a woman over what she can and can’t do isn’t a man who recognizes his own power and shouldn’t be allowed to have an affect on how I see mine. But, if someone recognizes my bad ass parking skills… I’m going to give that person a mental high five and move on with my day.

It takes nothing away from your person to enjoy being a female or to be gracious… you can even do it with oil stained hands and a dipstick.

I have a confession…

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I have anxiety. The kind of anxiety that can put me in bed all day. The kind of anxiety that makes me not remember what a day without feeling nauseas and sick to my stomach is like. The kind of anxiety that makes me not be able to breathe. The kind of anxiety that causes tears and overwhelming feelings of fear. The kind of anxiety that makes me disengage from those I love. The kind of anxiety that makes thoughts of running away seem more appealing than living with the fear of the next time the anxiety will overtake an hour… a day… a week.

 

The thing is most of the time I have no reason for feeling the way I do – that’s what’s so frustrating to my rational side. I have everything I could ever need. Anticipatory anxiety is a technical term, but I don’t like labels. The looming of “what if” is always whispering in my ear. It doesn’t take much to cause an anxiety filled few hours – What if my car blows up on the side of the road? What if someone breaks into my house? What if I lose my job? What if I get cancer? What if someone I love gets sick? What if, what if, what if. I know so many people around me who really have serious things to be concerned about, serious problems in their life… that’s what makes living with anxiety so difficult sometimes. Because, I know I have nothing to worry about, yet I can’t stop. It’s like an addiction – I can have a great day… everything is going good, things are in place, life is going along but something seems wrong. Something seems wrong because I’m not anxious about something, I’m not fretting over the next obstacle I need to face and thwart. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted.

 

When I got back from my trip to St. Simons, I felt so renewed and refreshed for 2014. Things were perfect, really. I had peace and a plan. Somewhere between February and now, things have slowly been falling apart inside of me… like old paint chipping off of a wall. Layer by layer. Some days I feel like I’m spiraling into I-don’t-know what – a mire of mud? An empty hole where everyone I love is looking down at me and mad and confused because I can’t get my act together? I don’t find a lot of understanding in my anxiety… I find a lot of frustration, though. Because, after all, I have nothing to worry about.

 

I needed to write. Someone else needs this, because they’re feeling the same things I am. You’re not alone. When I was younger, I was the Queen of “don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything.” Literally… everything. I prayed when I couldn’t find a paper or lost a toy. I find myself not praying as much. I find myself at a place where I am looking at everything I’m missing out on because my puzzle pieces are a mess. I’m not me. Somewhere last year I put on a cloak of discontent – and it’s still with me. I freely took it and wore it, thinking I could better myself into someone other than who I am. Who I am likes simple things. I like my small place to live. I like saving money. I like not having to be the best at every thing just to prove a point. I was handed a gift of discontent by someone who didn’t even know themselves and I have carried it with me for months.

 

There are many days I look around and I have no idea why on earth God has blessed me so abundantly. I have been given the most beautiful life and I know I am undeserving, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt where I am now is not God-given. So… for now, I have to take one day at a time. I have to run, I have to breathe, I have to love… because those are small things that keep me going. The verse Romans 12:2 has been on my heart recently…

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The world tells us we need more, we need to strive for wealth and more possession and more affluence and more to cram our life so full of stuff that we have no room for worth. The world robs us of our worth… worry robs us of our worth, our joy, our life. We are not getting any of this time back… it doesn’t matter how much I save I could die tomorrow and I will have spent the past three months of my life thinking what I would do if I didn’t have any money. We have conformed to the world’s ideals of worth and successfulness. We have bought the lies of entitlement and self-servitude so we reiterate those words to those we love and they carry on the torch until all that is left are robots in a world of worrying how we are going to keep up with the Joneses.

We want more until more begins to want us.