I was driving home from helping shooting a wedding the other night and as my mind works one thing led to another and I started thinking about writing. I had recently been having some conversations that were heavy on my mind – conversations about doing what I loved and what I am passion about, but that’s another story. However, part of that is relevant for this post.
I began to think about words unspoken – specifically, love letters. I know there have been compilation books of letters between lovers, but I wondered if there were any dedicated to the love letters that were never sent to their intended recipient. I couldn’t help but think of my own unsent letters I had written – there is always a reason those things don’t get sent. For me, what was impressed upon someone to pour their heart into, yet never deliver, resonated far more than reading a letter someone had received. The stories behind the words written and the reasons why the letters were never sent – it gives me chills now just thinking about it. The next day, I did some research on the internet to see what was out there and of course I did find some books that were along those lines however, I did not expect what occurred next to have such an impact on me.
A website was asking for unsent letter submissions with the intent on making them into a compilation book. Some of the submissions had been added to the site – naturally, I started to read some of them. A small picture of a grey kitten caught my eye. (Now, you should know upfront I am one of those crazy animal people who thinks their animal is their child. More to come on this at a later date.) The letter was addressed to Misty, the cat, from an adult woman – it was an apology letter. The woman wrote from her perspective as a little girl – although she didn’t have a lot of money, she loved her kitten… she treasured her. As things happen, the kitten became ill and the girl did not have enough money to take her to the veterinarian. In her panic and heartbreak, she placed her beloved kitten in a box and took her deep into the woods, leaving her there. Alone. To die. You see, the little girl was scared and felt helpless – she didn’t know what to do. She loved her cat, but she couldn’t bear to watch it suffer and not be able to do anything. She did the only thing she could rationalize – she walked away.
We all can relate someway to this story – either as the kitten or the little girl. We’ve all walked away or been walked away from by someone we care about. It doesn’t mean genuine love or care isn’t there – it’s just the way it is. We panic. We are scared to hurt or to be hurt. We get too close and don’t want to put ourself in a situation to lose. We are selfish because we are fragile. We are human. Sometimes it is because of timing, sometimes it is because of past experiences that have burned us, and sometimes we just aren’t ready. Or, we are left behind to wonder what happened, what went wrong – was it something we did? Why are we being left alone in a time when we want to be rescued and taken care of? It’s a mismatched affair… both parties are hurting, yet both are confused and miscommunication (or no communication) only compounds the situation.
Unlike the kitten in the box, we have a choice to not stay confined to our circumstances… things are not always what they seem. People are not always cloaked in shadowy darkness – sometimes they are just as broken as we are. So, we crawl out and we move on… we shift and change and grow. We love, forgive and most importantly, accept. We accept people for who they are, we accept ourselves, and we accept this is an ever changing and never fully stable world we live in. We cling to what is good and right when we have it – and if we lose it, we remember it for the pureness that is was in those moments. We live.
If you’re interested in the website I mentioned, check it out at www.ourunsentletters.com
