If you need to play catch up, check out Part 1 of this story – it’s important to the whole effect I am going for, which is… utter disbelief, I think. Yeah. I’ll go with that.
D, K, and I had gotten some cute pictures in the snow and were headed back toward home. I saw some ponies in a field not far from where we were and wanted to drive a little further to see what was down the road. Why, why, WHY do I never leave well enough alone and just say “Hey we had fun, let’s go home”? No… I always have to do one more thing. It’s been that way since I was a kid – “Just one more time!” I ended up with a busted eye once because I wanted to jump on the bed “one more time.”
Once I realized there was nothing else to see down the road I decided to turn around – not in a driveway, not at the end of the road – no, I had to back up in a PASTURE. Jokes and jabs were exchanged: “Let’s not have a reenactment of earlier {insert lots of laughter}”
I put the car in drive and pushed the gas. There was that familiar humming/sputtering/skidding sound that comes when rubber gets encased in mud. The following conversation between D and I went a little like this:
“You did not just do that.”
“Um… Ha. Ha. This can’t be happening”
“PATTY!”
“This isn’t real life.”
The three of us got out of the car and surveyed the damage. Yep, it was way worse than getting stuck on a gravel driveway. Pure muddy snow slush.
“I need a cigarette.”
While D puffed on a cigarette on the side of the road, K started to brainstorm some ideas while I stood around in general disbelief and wanted to disappear. How does this happen twice in one day? K and D looked over in the pasture to see two rolled hay bales. I could see the lightbulbs flickering over their heads. Not only was I stuck in the middle of the road, but now we were stealing hay. Sorry, Mr. Farmer Man.
And, the experimenting began again – D & K stuffed the hay around the tires and I would try to gas the car and get some traction to get out of the muck. Try, try again. Finally – a car! It was coming. And, it tried to go around us. He crept beside my car and I guess felt the need to crack his window about three inches. Did he think we looked like the kind who would stage a big mud accident in hopes of jumping him for his crappy car and mullet? Apparently.
“Ya’ll okay?”
D: “Yeah, we just need someone to help us push the car out…”
“Well… that ain’t gonna help.”
K: “We’re all right – you can go on. Thanks anyway!”
“Well… ya got a phone?”
He scooted on by my car and stopped, watching us push and me get in and gas the car. Finally, he revved on and there may have been some inappropriate hand gestures but I’ll never confirm. I put the car in Neutral and hopped out of the car… The three of us stood behind it and pushed. Nothing.
Bad.
At this point, I decided to call Triple AAA. Can you already tell I’m one of those people who probably has them on speed dial? I’ve got the keychain to prove it. That was the shortest conversation I’ve ever had with them: “We’re sorry, ma’am, your membership wasn’t renewed.” What! WHAT? I couldn’t do anything about it then but I’m going to have to talk to my people. Who is in charge of renewing my Triple AAA? Seriously.
About that time, here comes another vehicle… a truck! The truck immediately pulled over to the side of the road and an older gentleman got out. He was nicely dressed, but walked over to us – keeping a good distance, of course. D would later say, “He had moccasins on.” Moccasin man surveyed the situation and told me to do a couple of setups with the car before yelling “GAS IT!” The car come out alive… K, on the other hand…
The pictures don’t really do the situation justice – she was covered head to toe in mud. But, no worries… that’s what hand washing is for.
I’m not sure if I learned a lesson out of this… My car is a delicate tank? Always knew that. My friends are bad ass? Knew that, too. Sometimes it’s okay to rely on the kindness of strangers? Always nice to be reminded. Maybe I’ll never learn the lesson of not doing something “one more time” because as we pulled away from the mess I passed the ponies in the pasture… “Look at the ponies! And, now the moon is out…” I looked around at my friends in hopes they would see the logic in my words. D’s response? “Screw the ponies! Keep driving.”
One of the best days, ever.
