… Sitting in the airport in New York City after getting up at 4:30am to catch my shuttle. 

I went to the lobby this morning and I was standing in front of the big picture window when I heard, “Ma’am. Psst. Come here.” 

I turned around and the gentleman at the front desk motioned for me to come over and put his finger to his lips. I walked over him pointing to the counter next to him. I peered down into two boxes of pastries. They were beautiful. And, I could have my pick. 

Honestly, the last thing I want to do is be eating right now. But, it was a really sweet gesture and I figured I would need a little nourishment for the long day. What to pick? There were Bear Claws, huge muffins pecked with various fruits, powdered pastries, and croissants. I picked the croissant. The most plain and basic pastry in the bunch. I have chosen the fancy pastries before. I know they’re bad for me for many reasons, but they are beautiful. And, tasty. And, faced with a choice of the croissant or the drizzled Bear Claw that seems to glisten under the lights and call to your stomach… Why would you choose the unassuming one? 

I’m tired of choosing the fancy pastries. I am exhausted of chasing after what I think I want. This year has been such an eye opener already. It’s solidified feelings I was already having at the end of last year. I know what I want… I’ve had what I wanted. How many times do you get to say that? Not a lot, let me tell you. And, for the first time in a long time I have taken something good and thrown it into a wall like a China plate.

 … I typed a long analogy right here, but I deleted it. 

Last night, on our last night in the city, LM & I were having dinner at a restaurant that had a piano bar. There was this group of older folks playing and the woman in the red glittery top, her cropped gray hair swaying as she started her song… “It’s so important to make someone happy Make just one someone happy…” LM & I just kind of looked at each other and shook our heads with a little laugh. You know that look you give your friend when you’re both thinking the same thing. 

Happiness is an allusive light of magic. It comes at you with such blinding force sometimes it knocks you on your ass. And, before you know it, it can be gone again. 

Happiness is the croissant in the box of pastries…