I have a scar on my thigh I aquired at the age of nine. Growing up, I would always iron my clothes on the floor. I can’t remember if we had an ironing board and my mother didn’t use it or if we didn’t have one at that time. For whatever reason ironing on the floor was a regular occurrence. Anyway, I distinctly remember ironing my shirt while I was watching a black and white episode of Perry Mason (I had an usual childhood.) Obviously I was engrossed in the courtroom drama I wasn’t paying attention to my hand work and ran the blazing hot iron right up on my leg – where it sat for a good three or four seconds before the pain receptors in my brain went haywire.
The days following my accident were worse than the actual event. The burn was extremely painful and over a couple of days the spot began to swell. My burn had turned into a blister… a satin finished and soft nub of liquid. After several days, the blister popped and drained. It’s disgusting, I know. The pain subsided over time, but the scar is still there. It’s in the perfect shape of the iron point, actually – a nice little teepee shape. As I have aged, I have noticed it has become less noticeable. I can point it out and spot it, but I have to look for it – it’s not as present as it was before.
Sometimes circumstances happen to us that send every pain receptor in our body into high alert. We wanna run and scream and do whatever we can do put out the pain – to salve the hurt, but it doesn’t go away. Oh, if we could just go back a few seconds… a few months… a few years. But, the damage has been done and, man, does it hurt. You may think you won’t be able to cope with the pain – nothing seems to stomp out the fire. Not only are we having to deal with the immediate pain, but the residual pain comes – the blisters. The blisters are daily reminders of what has happened. Even on days when things seem to get better – you’re not in so much pain, your heart is healing – the blister stays. And, under the blister will be born a scar.
It makes me think about removing cancer from your body – it must come out, but it leaves a scar. In the process of removing negative things from our life, we must be willing to face the pain of digging it out – no matter how badly it hurts – to start healing. The removing of negative things in our life that cause us pain can come in different forms – but, no matter what form it is – it is going to be painful. It’s going to be a daily or weekly or monthly reminder of what happened and the feelings that are conjured up because of the circumstance or person. It takes more strength than weakness to go through these times – we are the only ones who can commit to this endeavor and come out clean.
One day – the blister is gone and underneath is the new skin. But, it is forever changed. A scar remains to serve as a reminder and a protection from the pain inflicted before. Over time, the scar becomes lighter and less noticeable – the pain is gone… but you know it is still there. And, when you look at it, you know you endured. You survived. Some scars we may get a few times -others, once was more than enough. There will always be new scars – some will hurt less than others, but they all are a lesson to us in this journey. It does get easier… sometimes the saying is true that it gets harder before is gets easier, but it does… the pain subsides, your wounds heal, your mind is renewed. You are restored through the pain.
Twenty years later and I still iron my clothes on the floor. And, yes, I do own an ironing board. Old habits die hard… you just learn to be a little more careful.
