we all have lost a best friend. sometimes it is purposefully and sometimes it is beyond our control. whether it is for the best or not, best friend breakups can be the worst kind of heart pain we go through in our lives.

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To You, the Best Friend of My 20s — There are so many things I miss about you. As the wounds from your betrayals have scarred over, the good memories try to push themselves to the forefront of my mind.

An unlikely pair we were – one of the unlikeliest, really. Two people who could not be more different, yet were so similar. Our bond was formed fast… one that we often said of that one could tell when the other was hurting or something was going on. An unspoken feeling that could be felt when we were not together. A connection rivaling a sisterly bond.

We bonded through tears and heartbreak, through hazes of long summer nights, through grown up jobs, through losses and gains, through accidents. A friendship that below simmered a hot difference in opinions and beliefs at times, but that somehow we made work. Because we thought it was important. Because we had each other. It was us against the world.

As I leave my 20s behind, I leave our friendship in a decade that was my growing up. It will stay there, perfectly preserved and wildly worth remembering. It will be those memories I will look back on and love when I am older and I miss my youth.

The night when you took care of me on the side of the road, the night you crashed your car, the interstate drive with you hanging out the window, the summer days at our local watering hole, the summer nights spent with Barefoot and boys, the nights where tears were all that were shared, the weeks you lived with me when you had nowhere else to go, our ride and die attitude. So many days spent with you that it felt like a lifetime.

You broke my heart, Best Friend of My 20s. You abandoned us. You left us. You broke us.

As the last few weeks of this year wind down… such a big year for both us, I forgive you. I have long accepted that there are many things in life I will never comprehend. Things that break my spirit every day and that I cannot even begin to fathom. We are one of them.

And, even then… we were a season. A beautiful, free, crazy, amazing season. A season I would not trade or choose to redo.

My life would not have been the same without you.

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