Boobs, Booties, and Babes

I know a lot of people are going to disagree with what I’m about to say and I respect that.

Body shaming. Hashtags. Instagram. Facebook. Twitter. Pictures. Flesh. Plummeting value. Plummeting respect. Plummeting relationships.

I used to think the multitudes of married female bloggers who wrote about “modest is hottest” (I still think that’s the stupidest phrase I’ve ever heard) were just writing those posts because they were jealous and miserable. They didn’t want their husband looking at another woman because they felt bad about themselves. And, really… that’s not it at all. I get it now.

As human beings we need to start protecting each other more. We need to stop pitting ourselves against each other as women and women need to really think about lording their sexuality over men as some sort of tool and power trip.

It’s not a good feeling to know your boyfriend/husband is looking at half naked or naked women. I don’t care how much self confidence you have or how pretty you are – it’s humiliating. In fact, I think the more self confidence you have the worse it hurts. You want them to want you. And, to want to look at you.

What’s the point of showing your cleavage/butt/lingerie, etc. to the world? What are you gaining from it and what message is it sending to the man in your life? That his eyes are not enough? That you need tens or hundreds or thousands of other men’s eyes on you, too?

I’m not talking about the pictures of physical progress if you’re into working out, etc. or the occasional bikini picture… I’m talking about the onslaught of cheapening the female body. Of cheapening our relationships. Of exploiting our personal lives.

Maybe you’re single and you are saying, “I’m single and beautiful and I like the attention! I’m not hurting anyone.” Are you not? Are you not hurting your value in someone else’s eyes? You are giving a little bit of yourself away with each picture… something less for the man that will one day be in your life.

Men are always going to look. And, they’re going to appreciate. And, that’s great. But, at the end of the day no matter what any of us say… we want something special. A man wants to know you haven’t posted a hundred pictures of your half naked body for other guys to look at. They want to know you have reserved some part of yourself for them.

People especially from my generation is very familiar with the teachings of our youth of giving pieces of yourself away physically. Now we are in a culture of giving away ourselves digitally. What’s special anymore if everything is so easily accessible and there at the click of a finger? We are turning into women who want to be “Liked” more than we want to be adored and loved.

Don’t settle for the temporary click. Value yourself. Value the man’s heart you want to value yours. Let us all remind each other we are each individual works of beauty.