This has been kind of in the background of my thoughts for several weeks but it looks like this is the time to word vomit about it. Long before the recent months of my life I remember reading an Instagram post from a young woman I follow who is on her own fitness journey. She made several comments about people not really supporting her and feeling very alone. At the time I didn’t understand but as I have been learning over several weeks – life doesn’t make sense most of the time.
You would think you would get outcries of support when you are turning your life around. And, maybe you are and that is AWESOME and I’m really excited for you. However, haven’t found that to be 100% the case.
FYI: This isn’t intended to be a pity party at all because I am so legitimately solid where I am right now that nothing is going to rock my world too much at this time. I have bad days but I remember the core of my being is being refined so bring it on!
I’ve been met with a lot of:
“You’re doing too much.”
“You need to eat a burger.”
“You’ve lost too much weight.”
“You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“You should be careful.”
“You need to eat this, too, so I won’t feel bad.”
Bottom line: YOU CANNOT MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY.
It’s hurtful. While I’ve never been one to live for accolades it definitely can get you down when you are seeing the progress and those closest to you don’t really seem to care or they just want to tell you you’re wrong/could do it better/different, etc. Have I done everything perfectly? Absolutely not. But, I am learning and I am continuing to move forward.
This isn’t a preaching message to people who have said those things but rather to those of you who are on a life path that maybe not everyone understands. I, like I’m sure we all have, have been blessed with amazing friends that I know love me at my most unlovable. However, we all serve our roles better in certain capacities and I am just living on another plane right now that not many people are inhabiting.
Maybe your friends and family don’t understand what motivated you to change or why you do what you do – but that’s okay. Your journey is not for them – it’s for you.
I would give anything to have someone who was my cheerleader. I want to be someone’s cheerleader. Especially at this point in my life… I really need some lions to run with. I feel like I’m a baby lion in training and I just need to really be scooped up and supported. I imagine at some point I will find some more support but right now I am pushing through physical milestones, mental blocks, and trying to keep grinding 100% every day.
I’m not doing this to be “skinny” – I’m doing this to be healthy. Trust me, there are parts of me that I don’t plan on losing too much of – ha. But, this is for life. And, to be the best me that I can be. How sad would my life be if I kept being mediocre when I am capable of being amazing?
So with all that said… I get it now. I get why it’s frustrating and can even make you mad. I get why it’s lonely. I get why people have more support from strangers on the internet than they do their own family.
It doesn’t matter if you’re 25 and fancy free or you are 30 and have two kids and a mommy body… Show some support! I’ve learned more about being a badass from people I know that have given birth than I have from the 21 year old hottie who was makes everything look simple. We are all in this together – some people have a better head start, that’s all. But, work is work. And, real work is HARD. It is every damn day. Blood, sweat, and tears – literally.
Nothing worth having is easy. There are always going to be moments you are going to have to navigate around and try to adjust to – that’s what makes it so precious. You have fought for who you have become, you have fought for relationships, you have fought for happiness. It is NEVER too late.
You are a warrior! Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different.
until next time… xoxo, patty lauren
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