The Journey So Far

YA’LL! We are over halfway through the year! Can you believe it? I certainly can’t. It really seems like yesterday it was January and cold and I was getting ready to turn THIRTY. And, life was like glittery diamonds and unicorns jumping rainbows.

If you’ve been following Moonshine & Wanderlust for any length of time you probably know A LOT has gone on this year. And, that wasn’t even everything! Thirty and 2015 has been a game changer for sure. I could never have expected this year to start, twist, wind, and end up the way it has as of today. I have never been happier in my entire life than I have this year. Man, that felt really good writing that. There have been really hard moments of course but God has ordered such steps of freedom and peace for me this year.

This is a special post, too, because it’s my 100th! I remember when I first started my blog… it was simply my name and the title was “A Journey” – I didn’t think anyone would read it but it was cathartic for me. And, then people did start reading it. And, then M&W was born at the end of last summer – I remember spending hours with my Dad working on the site, fine tuning it, taking pictures. Spending hours sitting in my then boyfriend’s living room in the sweltering heat of the little apartment tweaking little details. Being a writer was way different than I had imagined as a child and in college.

Writing hasn’t paid the bills for me, but it has given me a chance to fulfill my life long dream and purpose. I have had the opportunity to share personal details of my life in exchange for feeling like this is what I was always supposed to do – even if it’s not in the capacity I had imagined at one time. And, who knows what the future holds. What I do know is I am happy. More than content but at peace.

Just a year ago I was having serious feelings of being a flight risk. Like packing up the car and throwing the dog in the car and getting the heck out of dodge and never looking back. It’s not a good place to be – feeling like you’re walking a tightrope and you’re your own heavy gust of wind.

A lot has changed in six months. My whole life has changed. It’s hard to explain to people who don’t “get it” – very few do. It’s been a painful process of rebirth and it’s a daily choice. Spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. It’s funny – when you change some people don’t let you forget who you were. They want to keep you in a little box – neat and tidy and stuffed full of all your grievances.

The past doesn’t allow room for growth. Only new beginnings, open doors, open minds, and grace allow us to molt our old skins and become closer to whole beings. Beings made in the image of God. Growth comes from being alone with yourself and finding out who you are. Who you really, really, really are. And, what you really, really, really want. And, what you’re willing to sacrifice and work for to become and to get. Most of us are too scared to get that real with ourselves.

The journey doesn’t end here… you see, it is only the beginning of something new and beautiful. It is the beginning of the rest of my (your?) life.

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PS: I want to give a really big shoutout to a few people who have consistently read along with me and have consistently lifted me up. I know I have consistent readers but when people give you feedback – it makes this all worthwhile.

My sweet Northern Mama, Carol, who has always treated me like another daughter and been so generous with her words of affirmation and encouragement. You are so special to me! I love you!

And, Charlie and Joanie, who I found out like to read my blog to their friends around the dinner table. You guys have blessed and encouraged me and have really helped make me feel like this is what I have always meant to do. Our recent conversation meant more to me than you know!

 until next time… xoxo, patty lauren