Just the Way You Are

As I started writing this blog, I was drinking a cup of Pumpkin Spice black coffee and listening to the “All Out 70s” Spotify playlist. The morning had started like any other… up at 4:30am to head to the gym and get a workout in – and it was fabulous. For a couple of weeks I’ve felt like I’ve been off my game a little bit, but this particular morning I got it back. I spent almost an hour and a half lifting – making deliberate moves, working on my mind/muscle connection, listening to music, talking to God (I do that a lot while I workout), admiring my new Nike Air Max sneakers. You know, important stuff.

It was in those moments that I realized my initial fears and anxiety of going into the gym by myself had completely faded away. Being the only girl in the weight section would have made me puke four months ago – now I don’t even think about it. I know what I’m doing, I’m confident and proud… I don’t worry about what other people think because I am too busy concentrating on what I’m doing. I worked really, really hard to get to this point… it’s emotional for me because I know there are so many other people out there that felt like I have before and I wish I could make them all know what potential they have and to not be scared. Don’t ever let anyone or anything make you feel like you can’t do ANYTHING you put your mind to. Don’t waste months of your life thinking about changing when you can just start doing it and look back and go, “WOW”.

I got home and the sun was coming up and I just felt such peace. Fall does something to me. People liken spring to new beginnings but to me, fall is when magic happens. It’s my favorite time of the year – it’s the feeling you get on the first morning you walk outside your door and you feel that crisp little bite of air through the fading summer heat. It’s the midday sunshine that shines hot on your face but the air is void of the heavy humidity that weighs you down in the summer. It’s the way the sunlight looks in the mornings… softer, more gentle. It’s the sweaters you start pulling out in the evenings because the air is beginning to get cool and your warm summer skin isn’t quite acclimated to the change yet. It’s the way the air smells, the way some of the leaves are already beginning to change colors as they hang on to the last few weeks of summer. It’s that little extra pep in my step as I think about pumpkin patches and picking apples, haunted houses and and making new memories… hosting parties and making chili, lighting candles and cooking dinner, sitting on the front porch with the record player on, leaving the windows open and letting the breeze blow through the screen door.

I know that I am still going to have hard days – I am still going to cry over something stupid or feel like I’m not doing enough – but all those feelings are temporary. The tears dry, the hard days get better, I realize I am doing enough… all you can do it work hard and do the best you can do. No one can expect more than that. I know God is all around me… kind of like those gutter guards at the bowling alley. I’m a bowling ball and sometimes I get a little off track and head toward the ditch, but God is there to bump me back on the road and set me on the path to knock life out.

Look around you. Soak up every moment and squeeze everything you can out of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Because all of those moments remind you why you want to change, why you have changed… why the journey is never done. Take a minute today to slow down and look around you – we all have so much to be thankful for. Open your eyes to the beauty around you and dare to take a chance.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.”

The Beatles

until next time… xoxo, patty lauren